Top Guns and Men of Isaachar

by Chae-Ri Han
GLDI Class of 2009
University of Rochester Graduate

Top guns and men of Isaachar. Those were the words that Dr. John Kim spoke of on the first night of GLDI. “GLDI is looking for top guns–fighter planes that can go off together and target the enemy. We need our generation to produce men of Isaachar–men who ‘understood the times and knew what Israel should do’” (1 Chronicles 12:32). Such words marked the beginning of change for me. I always thought of my role as a Christian in this world as a very limited and passive one. It was not until GLDI that I realized that if we, God’s children, do not step up and claim this country, then Satan’s forces will. When Dr. Kim spoke of how we must claim America as our nation and rise to take ownership of it, something stirred in my heart. All of my life I had a very narrow view of the role that Christians had in this world. GLDI emphasized that we are Americans with a Korean heritage, and thus called to be owners of this nation. Such a statement of truth immediately changed my view on life. If America is my nation, then it is my duty to rightfully claim it back for God. I realized that for far too long I had put my view of my life as a Christian in a box. But the messages and experiences of GLDI were the keys that unlocked this box to release new passion and vision for God.

Such new passion, I found, could only come from loving God. This passion fueled my desire to not be number one, but to be the best. I learned that leadership means ownership, which means taking initiative. Too often, the rest of my generation and I have been guilty of being passive, waiting for others to make the first move. Yet if God has called His children to be leaders, then we must rise and live like owners of our country. We cannot wait and hope for things to get accomplished; if God has given us visions and burdens, then it is our responsibility to take action. During the third and fourth week of GLDI, God gave me such an opportunity to put into practice what He revealed through the speakers and sermons about leadership. I was given the privilege of being the second family group leader, and such an experience allowed me to see the role of leadership on a deep and personal level. I learned that being a leader meant a lot of sacrifices. I had to sacrifice my time and energy for my family, and for the first week I had difficulty accepting this. While my members were playing volleyball or engaging in fellowship, I had to refrain myself from such activities to prepare for reflection time discussion questions and go to meetings. Although I desperately wanted to spend my available time to rest or hang out with others, I knew that as a leader, I had to sacrifice such desires. The fact that it was so hard for me to give these things up without complaint made me see the selfishness of my own heart.

I found that selfishness, pride, and fear were things that still bounds me. During my first few days as a family group leader, I had the mindset that I was called to take charge and keep my family members in order. I feared that I had to meet certain expectations from my family members, and that if I did not meet their expectations, then I would not gain their respect and love. I was still living with the secular definition of leadership in my mind. I forgot that to God, being a leader means being like Jesus, and Jesus came to earth to serve and not be served (Matthew 20:28). Thus I had to humble and die to myself every day. I had to realize that I was called to be a leader for a purpose, and that purpose was to serve my family in love. I re-learned what serving meant through my experience as a family leader. I was there to bring out the best in my sisters, to allow each one of them to use their talents and passions to grow to be the best that they could be. The importance of working and serving as a team was revealed to me, and I saw that if one member of the family was struggling, then it was up to us to help that sister out. If one member fell, then our whole family would fall as well. As a leader, I saw how beautiful our family members’ dynamics were and how each girl contributed something special to our group.
But such loving interactions could only come from transparency and vulnerability. I learned that until we started to openly share with each other our struggles, sins, joys, concerns, cares, and burdens, then slowly the walls of defense and pride would come down. When such walls crumble, God can finally come and bring breakthrough. From GLDI, I witnessed love move in such powerful ways. Our family began to truly care for each other, praying for each other on a daily basis, fasting together and reading the Word. We grew stronger and accepted each others’ faults. I was so humbled when I found out that my family did not count my sins and mistakes against me–that they in fact loved me the same, if not more, after I shared with them my fears and struggles. Such sound love without judgment was something that I had never experienced before, and this bond that grew in our family radically changed my view on what small groups and the church as a body should look like.

I never would have thought that GLDI would have impacted my life in such a way that would have changed my view on who I am as God’s child in this world. After experiencing forty days of being a servant, leader, sister, follower, prayer warrior, encourager, learner, and student, I now am ready and eager to implement what I have witnessed and learned from GLDI to my home, family, church, and school. I do not look at July 31st, 2009 as the end of GLDI, but the beginning of something new. I will stand as a firm warrior for Christ. I will not forget what I have been taught. I will go and be a leader, knowing that I have ownership of this nation and thus will make the effort and pains to carry out God’s work. I want the body to be as one in love, I want the church to be like the beautiful bride of Christ, I want prayer movements to awaken campus ministries. I know that the visions and teachings I received from GLDI were given to me to be carried out, and I will not stop or rest until Christ comes. I will wait patiently and with strength and guidance from the Spirit, will carry my work with faith and joy, clinging onto that hope when one day, Jesus will come and say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”